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Sunday, January 22, 2017

Live ...Love ...Laugh

They said you had Autism
This is a lifelong disorder you can never overcome
You were “disconnected”...
I could only see …the light in your eyes

They said you would never speak
Or go to school like other kids
You would not have friends to play with 
I could only feel ....the love in your heart

They complained that you were hyperactive
You were difficult to handle 
You need to be restrained and drugged for your aggression
I could only hear ......your cry for help

They said that I need to be careful with you
You need help to navigate the world
You cannot take care of yourself
I could only sense ....your spirit guiding me

They told me not to have another child
For he or she may be “damaged” like you
A “burden” to this earth ..
I got ready to be blessed again another just like you

I refused to believe them …
For you are the light of my life
Your spirit guides me
To live …love… and laugh

To my children ..Nishant and Nivriti

This was the moment I realized that I did not need to “Accept “  you or your Autism …for it never made a difference ..there was never a moment that I  did not accept you ..there was never a moment that I wished you were different ..there was never a moment I that I wanted away from you ..I could not imagine life without you my child ..and this realization came in the moment when I discovered your sister was in my womb and though relatives and doctors were worried and even dissuaded me from continuing my pregnancy and wanted me to do scans and checks to see if she was “okay” ,,,I firmly refused ..that moment I knew that it did not matter if she was exactly like you ..I would love her just as I loved you …she was life created by me and life just is is not for me to end it or decide how it is meant to be but to just live …love …and laugh  .

1 comment:

  1. Dearest Akhila....
    Thanks so much for sharing the post. I'm so toched by it. What a beautiful family yours are really blessed and blessed are those who are touched by you....